After two weeks on a "normal" low-cal diet (I didn't lose hardly any wieght), I have graduated to Phase 2 and I am officially weirded out. On my new 30 day diet (like the old joke, "So far on my 30 day diet I've lost 5 days"), the first two days you "gorge" as a part of a strategy for resetting your hypothalamus.  The bad news is that the next 28 days I only get 500 calories (under doctor supervision) which is sort of like… well, eating nothing.  

But did you hear that? For the next two days I can eat anything I want, as much as I want, all the time… with absolutely NO guilt.  Under doctor's orders, no less. 

How weird is that????

Now, I totally get the concept of "gorging"… it's just I've never done it intentionally. I think most of my adult life, I have felt like the food police were following me around, ready to arrest me when I ate something "bad". They have been like a shadow, always right behind me, watching intently as I made my food choices, knowing that, like a stake out, if they hang around and wait long enough, I'll trip up, make a mistake, and they can cart me off in a cruiser, lights flashing.

But now, for two whole days, I am suppose to eat foods I have always considered forbidden: high fat, high sugar, high carb.  So what's on my list for the next two days… pizza, pancakes, cheeseburgers and fries, subs, onion rings, pizza, popcorn, cheese fries, garlic bread, pizza (are we sensing a carb theme here?)… and, well, pardon the expression, but I'm like a kid in a candy shop. 

How am I doing with this emotionally? Actually, it really is weird. I had dinner with my daughter (dessert was a hot skillet chocolate chip cookie with ice cream at Bricktops in Nashville) and she said, "Mom. It was so nice not to hear you obsess over food and just enjoy it."  Hmm.

Part of my issue with food is that "balance" has never been a favorite word in my vocabulary. I know the next 28 days are going to be hard when I am on the "if it even looks good, don't eat it" part of the diet.  But somehow, these two days of intentional eating are making me realize there really is a difference between intentional and unintentional eating. It's just I've always come at it from the other direction. 

Sometimes, it's a matter of changing your perspective to see things slightly different.

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