Every now and then things start churning in my head and my heart and I can't seem to get a handle on all that is swelling around. 

Just in the past couple of days, I have heard reports of many really hard things that are happening to those around me.  One friend's son-in-law just got laid off of work… and many people who I don't even know are losing their jobs; I just heard of another group this morning. And it's three weeks before Christmas.

A young high school girl got very sick and died last week from unknown causes.  A friend's grandson just died after being borth prematurely and with a birth defect. He only lived a week. 

I just now got an email from a friend whose little 6 yr old nephew stopped breathing and is on life support.  He has downs syndrome and they don't know what is causing his little body to shut down.

My heart is heavy. 

And then I have to ask myself: Is this a surprise to God?  Does He really have the "the whole wide world in His hands"?

My oldest daughter is leaving on a medical mission trip to India a month from today. Her grandmothers are not happy about it.  They think we're crazy to let her go (she is 27, lives on her own and it's not like we can take the car keys away from her). 

Kel and I talked about some of the risks involved this morning. She said, "I believe in a Sovereign God. If He calls me home while sharing the gospel through delivering medical care in India, then that's my time and I'm okay with it. I could just as easily get hit by a truck here. I believe God knows the number of our days. When it's my time, then it's my time." 

Last night I heard a performance of Behold the Lamb of God by Andrew Peterson. I was moved by the song, Labour of Love. I have listened to the song a couple of times now and it has touched my heart in a way that helps my head.

The answer to my question, "Is God really in control of all things?" is answered in the lyrics of this moving song.

Out of pain comes hope… in the One who is Hope.

Labour Of Love :
It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love